Responding to online attacks

Those nasty online comments by anonymous posters sting hard. It's one thing if they would simply argue the facts. But instead they attack your integrity, your competence, bring in distracting and irrelevant information, or just plain tell lies. You just want to get on the keyboard and tell those @#(*... Stop. What you do next could defuse the situation, or make it worse. Do not try to negotiate or argue with people online. People online tend to dig in their heels, which makes it more difficult to reach consensus. That's because in what researchers call computer-mediated communication (CMC), we lack the tools to help us communicate in a rich and nuanced manner. These include such tools as body language, tone and timing. If I say "Sit Down!" online, I am angrily commanding you to be quiet or happily inviting you o join me in a conversation? If you haven't heard the tone in my voice, you probably don't know. (Emoticons help, but don't fully replace facial expressions and tone.) If someone makes wrong or outrageous statements about your project, invite that person to go to a future public meeting or to talk with someone from your team in person. You may not change the person's mind. But you will demonstrate to others that you are open to criticism and dialogue. And most people aren't as rude in a face-to-face situation as they might be behind an online mask. If someone makes personal attacks against you, you can do several things: Take the high road and say you will not respond to personal attacks (although you may want to correct any errors offered by the writer). You can contact the moderator of the forum where the comments are to see if there are any rules against making personal attacks. You can also ignore the comments to see if they die on the vine or if they get picked up by other writers. This is risky. But I think more readers today realize that some people simply have an axe to grind, or are just unreasonable, and they tend to overlook outrageous claims. The comments to be most careful of are those written well enough to sound plausible. Take the friendliest tone possible when presenting information online or responding to a writer. If I'm responding to a reasonable argument, I like to say something like "I understand why you might say that, but here's why I see it differently." Avoid making comments that imply that the other person lacks knowledge or understanding. This is insulting, and I've never seen this strategy to work. If you honestly feel that the other person does not have "all the facts," ask if he or she has considered X or Y. And be willing to listen to their facts, even if you don't like what you hear. Feel free to invite your friends and allies to present their views as a way to counteract attacks. When defending your actions, do not repeat any malicious claims others say. Repeating the claims tends to cause readers to remember them more. One way to help minimize the problem of online attacks is to create forums for people to talk about your projects. In these forums, set up "netiquette" guidelines that give you the freedom to delete any comments deemed as personal attacks. (If you work in the public sector, check first with your agency attorney to see if deleting comments violates First Amendment guidelines.) Develop a thick skin. I remember somebody telling me "If you raise your head above the crowd, someone's bound to throw a tomato at it." Final thought: Don't email angry. An impulsive mistake can cause you and others a lot of pain. --Leonardo Vazquez, AICP/PP